How One Hour a Day Changed My Life
Guest writer: Tara Hegerty
Matrescence. It’s one of my favorite words because it carves out space and puts a name to one of the most magical experiences – the birth of a mother. Modern motherhood centers around our children, but we can’t lose sight of ourselves. Two people are born through this process, not only one, and we have to shift our mindset to reflect that.
As the mother of two beautiful children, I know that I’m not the person I once was. I used to be a hyper-ambitious woman in an uber-competitive industry. In addition to climbing the corporate ladder, I started a side hustle and chased every accomplishment I could.
When my husband and I decided to start our family, we assumed that it would be straight forward and simple, just like everything else in our lives.
We weren’t so lucky.
First, I experienced a devastating miscarriage. Then after a negligent surgical procedure, I was diagnosed with Asherman’s Syndrome and told that I would never become pregnant again. My uterus was damaged with scars, but I refused to give up hope.
Over the next three years, we continued fighting for our unborn children with fertility treatments, acupuncture, detox programs, and surgeries, but nothing worked. I became deeply depressed and watched my dream of motherhood fade away. Time blurred, my days were uncentered, and I lost my sense of self.
Then I found a photo of my late grandfather that made me smile. He always said that mornings held magic for him, and no matter what would come in the day ahead, the dawn was his. Calm, collected, and centered – that was how he taught me to start my mornings. The very next day, I committed to building that routine.
My morning ritual gave me clarity and a sense of power to focus on the mindful life design that truly matched what I needed and wanted. My husband and I decided to try surrogacy, and we finally came to a place of peace with our journey – we would be content and fulfilled, no matter the outcome.
An unplanned miracle! Three months later, I became pregnant with our son naturally. Memories of my miscarriage haunted me throughout the pregnancy, but I finally let out a huge sigh of relief when I held our little boy in my arms. Less than two years later, I gave birth to our second child, a little girl.
Raising two children under the age of two was a test of my sanity, to say the least. My daughter was also diagnosed with severe silent reflux, which meant months of sleepless nights and appointments with the pediatrician. But no matter how overwhelming the days and nights were, I always claimed mornings for myself.
There were periods of time when I skipped my morning routine and sacrificed my own self-development to prioritise the needs of others, but I realised every single time that it wasn’t just a disservice to me – it was a failure for my family. Then, I picked myself back up, restarted my routine, and reclaimed the confidence that I needed to become the best mum I could be.
What I realised is that my happiness, wellbeing and fulfilment as a mother relied on five main areas in my life. I refer to these as the “Five Life P’s” – Physical Health, Psychological Health, Partnerships with family & friends, Parenting Life and Professional Life. Some of these may be more important than others, but as a whole, we need to thrive in each of these areas in order for us to feel our best, do our best and live our best, not just as a mum but as a woman.
I came up with my unique path to mama-evolution, transforming how I feel, how I want to live, adopting new life design strategies in a format that feels right to me. In what I now realise was in no time, my whole experience of motherhood evolved.
“The days became less overwhelming, I was calmer, I even felt like the glowing, balanced mum I’d been picturing in my mind.”
These strategies that I’ve implemented in my daily life? They are effective, simple and easy to follow mindset and life planning tools that I’ve created and honed over time. And what I found is the evidence of setting up your day right, centering your energy and making sure you have the right mindset is too strong to ignore.
One hour a day has completely changed my life – from finding peace in my fertility journey to becoming pregnant, navigating motherhood, and telling my story. I rise and radiate one morning at a time, and now I teach other mamas how to do the same.
Through my matrescence I’m not just a mother – I am now a Dawn Warrior.